why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
