Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
