half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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