I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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