ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
