I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
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Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
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Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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