you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
