O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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