im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
