You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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