I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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