Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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