It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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