Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
