Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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