Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
