Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
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You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
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The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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