does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
