she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
