we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
