dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
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I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
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