my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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