...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
