i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize