why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
