What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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