I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
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All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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