do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
