normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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