Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
