I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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