Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
