Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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