i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
