How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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