i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
