Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize
