i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize