Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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