I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
