So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
