finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
