he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
