you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
