Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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