When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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