we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
