You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i think my cat just said my name.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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