I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
