The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
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he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
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Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize