I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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