You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
