I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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