Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize