remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
