I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
