I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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