Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
