Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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