her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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